Most of you in the food-blogging world know that today, April 12, KFC released their Double-Down sandwich, consisting of two chicken filets, bacon, cheese, sauce, and no bun.
Well, I had to see it for myself. Here, to start a new column for the blog I like to call "I Have Defiled Myself" (part food porn, part confession), is my experience with the infamous Double-Down from Kentucky Fried Chicken. First off I had to wait for 10 minutes to receive mine. Evidently they had no idea so many people would show up on today, the FIRST DAY EVER they offered this culinary beast. I finally received my tray.
As you can see, I doubled-down on my Double-Down. Not wanting to skimp on the experience, and wanting to give you, dear reader, the most thorough review possible. I went with two.
Taken separately, they look, well, rather ho-hum. Not sure what all the excitement was about. Regular chicken patty, half-melted cheese, a pathetic strip of bacon or two, and some smeary sauce was all this legend was made up of.
But when I put both of them together, a true legend was born. Behold the Double-Down, doubled-down...
Feast your eyes on that for just a little bit. Four chicken patties, four slices of pepper jack cheese, bacon, and sauce all combine for 1080 calories and over 2000mg of sodium! What's doubly awesome is that one day my cardiologist will reference this exact post when preparing my first double bypass.
What did it taste like? Pure salt. A sodium overload. I couldn't taste anything else in the thing but salt, salt, salt. If you like salt and hate bread, you'll love this thing. I wish I could describe the taste better than "a crunchy, runny, dribbly, greasy, salt lick", but that's the best I've got for this thing. I don't go to KFC often (maybe once every three years or so, when I'm mad at a doctor or something) and this, this... I hesitate to call it a "sandwich"... reminded me why. All this being said, I did finish the stack, but had to resort to using a fork at the end...
I'm glad I got two, for that saves me ANY temptation to return and try this thing again. Sure, I could triple or even quadruple my Double-Down, but my heart would explode before I could finish it. Besides, someone else'll do it soon enough. Been there, done that, got the blog post.
It may take me a bit to recover from this one, but no doubt I'll be back with another installment of "I Have Defiled Myself", don't worry. Until then, Eat wall, and for god's sake, eat sane.
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7 comments:
Thanks for eating it, so I don't have to! Not that I would anyway, it looks really gross. Wondering what to pair with it and if there there is that could hold up to all that salt! I predict you'll be drinking gallons of water and hungry for more again in an hour.
I ate so healthfully the past two days, and I still feel greasy-queasy and sick to my stomach. My verbal reaction to when you said you were putting two together, before I even saw the picture, was "No... oh God, please, no!" But you did.
Good luck with the whole digestion thing.
Sorry. I can't talk right now. My tongue feels like a belt sander and my mouth is running time trials at Bonneville. The only pairing I can think of would be to suck water like a slug stuck on a slab of halite in the rain.
Sometimes, being a member of the clean-plate-club is a curse.
That just makes me want to eat one. I have a problem. And I love salt.
THAT looks like a Paula Deen appetizer! Wow! I'm glad you reviewed it! What to go with? How about a 07 buttery oaky chardonnay fit for a desperate housewife? Anyone? Visit my blog Thewinebitches.com, you can whore while I'll bitch. Cheers!
Those things are great!
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